An Art of Being Apart

Oh the pain of this distance!

It keeps you apart but strengthens your soul!

Not many can understand this trouble and I hope not many are going through it. Distances make you grow fond, but at the cost of that one thing, distance.

Well the story goes; I fell in love with this amazing amazing man who incidentally stays miles away. Days went by and love brewed strong. We went ahead and things happened. Our families agreed and we exchanged rings. And like any other girl, I started daydreaming about the life ahead. Sequences of how I wish to see things unfold, celebrating moments together, doing things together, reading novels together and everything else together.

But well well, was together planned by HIM? Only HE could answer. And when should HE be doing that? For me it was a fortnight before my Together started. O freak! HE couldn’t do that to me! I dreamt of a whole story for the ‘ever after’. May be the One thing I forgot is the fact that I can dream, but HE Creates. We can just play the parts in the movie he scripts for us. So, my ‘happily ever after’ was about to start around 900kms and some 17 odd hours away.

I cried my eyes out, tossed in the bed for nights, fumbled while I spoke and troubled in my mind. I had been waiting for this for so long Lord, and now that wasn’t happening. This was the time when I learnt some most important lessons. One; at times you have to prioritize some things more than others. Two; there are things you do for a greater good. Three; God always takes care of his children. And the most important, Four; your soulmate is and can be the biggest strength you find ever.

With a heavy heart but the happiest smile, I walked down the aisle and took the vows of togetherness. It was from then fifteen days when I could feel the marital bliss. Being married and feeling being married. Two different emotions. While the first is striding along, the second, for now was a short lived one. And in the whole process, the magical days toned down to four and they were laden with emotions of ‘I don’t want to go.’

And finally I am brought back to a new place for the times ahead. Times accounting to not less than 3 years. 3 years; that’s 365*3 days. Only I could feel the pain of that. Not a new city but a new place. Last time it was my father who brought me here, and this time it was my husband. May be it was my first realization of growing up and being responsible. It was not a replacement, but a sense of commitment towards being independent.

Through the first month, I could only curse my fate. New beginning was great. New people, tad-bit weird. Energy was subdued, but options were none. I was going through these stages of depression, now at denial. Nothing I could really like, settling down was unnerving. Food was highly not recommended. And by the end, I was shaken.

All that could keep me up in this whole process was this one voice, the strength and the belief of my guy that I can combat and come up. His mere call is a presence. I have been keeping calm only because he thinks I can. All the fights in my brain had one answer, ‘wish you were here’. I know that can’t happen. I know it is tough. To stand by was my only chance of survival.

Through times, I had started gaining a perspective towards acceptance. To be able to meet him up was the way I looked forward to the times passing by. The first meet after a gap of a month was the most beautiful I felt ever. To be able to hug him tight, have him caress my traces, play along and be the cuddle bear was the best feeling. And to see him off then was the worst. It is sore; drags down your mind to a space of emptiness. But to know the next date then is how the calendar drifts. Mixed bag of emotions it is.

Today, he, once my weakness, has become my strength. The fondness for him is reaching new peaks. 900kms looks like just another distance. And the will to be better is growing every day. How has this happened? It all coz of this amazing guy I fell in love with. I keep falling for him every time. He sticks my drooping confidence by his belief in me. His binds my disintegrating soul to show me a way. When I feel I am alone, he puts me to sleep in his arms even at this distance and I can feel the warmth of his cuddle. He pillars my courage to let it stand on its own. I don’t feel distances between us so much now (a couple of times though). I know I don’t have to ask him to be there for me. He’s just there, right beside me and loving me with all his heart.

Oh the pain of distance, how do I ever thank you enough!

You found me him for the right purpose!

Not everybody has the courage, not everyone can do!

Staying miles apart and still connected by soul, love itself found the source!

Picture Credits: AD Photography